Bitter-Sweet: My Tasteful 2015

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If your life has a taste or flavor, what would it be and why?

Welcome to the final day of 2015! Can you believe it? It’s 2016 tomorrow, so I’ll be greeting you with a Happy 2016. Let us all start the year with a bang (but be cautious with firecrackers)! I’ve got to write this one because of the holiday season tag-line of a known Coffee Shop Chain, “Give Flavorfully.” If I would have to describe my life’s flavor this whole 2015, I would say, it’s bitter-sweet. Just the tasteful sweetness with a jive of the right amount of bitterness to balance it’s perfection. Well, it’s not really that “perfect” but just exactly what I need to be who I am and where I am for a fresh start of the year.

The Bitterness.

My life has been through tough times this year. I had conflicts, words unsaid, unwritten stories and poems, failed events, missed targets, blurred visions, and the list goes on. I almost gave up on things and shed more tears on different pains that this thing called life punched me. I managed to tuck them in at night and faced the things called mistakes in the morning with a hopeful heart that everything’s gonna be fine. I avoided confrontations and endured consequences of my shortcomings to those people who doesn’t know the depth of apologies, who never entertained those ‘sorry’ words, who never accepted that I am not perfect; that nobody is perfect. I faced the fact that change is the only permanent thing in this world, even if those people around me cannot live with that change. All year round I was reminded of the help those hands lend me; that I cannot repay them even if I gave back the amount they gave me. Because unmerited favor for them cannot be repaid, as they’ve told me. I was accused of dishonoring people, neglect, and other things I never intended to do. I was stabbed and barely recovered with their sharp words. My 2015 is not what I hoped would be but I stood still and had a bunch of sweets despite the bitter taste.

The Sweetness.

Let’s just say, if I’m gonna weigh the amount of sweetness this year, I think it’s more than what I expected. I bloomed as a blogger, composed poems more than ever, started spoken words and record some on Soundcloud, been nominated in a blog awards, featured some of my entries on brewyourbestyear.com, traveled unexpectedly to places I never been to, almost done with my bucket list for my 21st year, loved more, loved back even more, and so on. I have been blessed with people who influenced me to do what I love to do and to live fully and wonderfully despite some bumps on the road. I met new friends who do the same thing I do (blogging) and supported me on this craft. I moved into a job that is more satisfying and more fulfilling than what I do before. I learned how to turn my tears into something inspirational and motivational. Discovering things through experience is what highlighted my year; I have never been so into things I love to do now or with people I love being with these days if I have not tried being with it and/or with them. I learned to appreciate the gifts of today and tomorrows, to value my family more and to love them more than anything in this world. I learned how to heal my own wounds – wounds which were caused by words like swords, sharp and double-edged, wounds caused by silence and ignorance. They served as ground with fertilizers where I planted flowers and bloomed beautifully and became noticeable to strangers. I cannot say thank you enough for all the blessings I have received this year, for all the learning, the smiles, the breakthroughs. This year seems so short and in haste, but I enjoyed its flavors and colors. It made me who I am at this point and where I would start for a brand new chapter of my life.

a poem intended for you

a poem intended for you

whenever i am tired and weary,
you let me feel the touch of the morning dew.
and whenever I walk through the vastness of your creation,
i can always say that your love surrounds me,
through those birds singing whenever they see me
through those butterflies flying around my head
through those crickets welcoming me so loudly
through those lizards echoing on the ceiling
through the sun sneaking up that mountain
through the clouds forming like heart-shaped candies
through those flowers i see while walking around the garden
and through your whispers of love that only few can hear.
i just realized how amazing you are
and i just knew how special i am
that through those simple things, you never fails
to let me feel that i am loved beyond compare.

Pursuing the More Significant

I grew up in a place where everyone should follow the norm. Where being different is unacceptable or at least , the not so important. All along I have been trying to find my own space, been trying to be felt or noticed by somebody and trying to be labeled as someone who can compete. I was always the one who needed to prove myself in the eyes of those positioned, in the standards of those I thought, chosen. I strive hard to at least have a title; and so I had. But then I started appreciating the silence more than the loud praises, the applause. I started venturing into a different world, a world where no one of my colleagues would care to try out. I entered in a dimension where your voice is hidden behind those words, where your thoughts could be expressed loudly without even speaking.

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I’ve written poems and metaphors, stories to describe my feelings, short prose of wild imagining – phrases, sentences, paragraphs of my shortcomings and continuous becoming. I learned to value each type of expressions to convey whatever it is in our hearts – desires, passion, dreams, aspirations, rants, greetings, encouragements, ideals. I learned to value choices and learned that we have choices in everything; and even if you don’t have any other option, it is still a choice whether you would choose to choose or not at all. I have learned a lot, yet still has to learn more. But one thing I’m proud of is that the space given to me has been occupied by a very special craft that I could call, mine.


This article was published on Brew Your Best Year site by The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf.

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