On Choosing to Let Go and Let God

I admit. I am a worrier. I can’t help but think about the things that might happen if, for example, I lost my job or didn’t receive my salary on time or overspend. I am always anxious about my finances to the point that ‘money matters more’. I think about my tithes, my debts, my siblings’ tuition fee, my family needs (financially), my apartment rent, the bills to pay, the monthly groceries and daily work allowance. I was always bombarded with the thought of expenses and not savings.

Until one hell of a situation happened that really tested my faith. I’ve withdrawn everything from my ATM and spent for this and that and those and gave everything to my Dad with 500 peso left in my wallet expectant that the other day, I would get my sales incentive from the company (funny, right?). I got back to Manila and had only 300 peso to spend for at least two weeks before the next salary. I was very hopeful that I will be provided for the first week. But then the first week passed and I had only a hundred peso left in my wallet. I don’t even know how I managed to survive (thanks to my housemate and to a church mate). I was financially broke the following week but then I managed to budget the remaining cash I have even though I commute to work everyday. Thank you, Lord for the grace and wisdom! But still, I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY LEFT and the next salary is 3 days away and I still don’t have my incentive. One thing I forgot to do that whole week is to pray for myself and to pray for provision when I should be the one to never forget that. I was already upset and asking God what could be wrong and why of all situation, why now, why this? Why can’t I even feel blessed enough? I was already having the wrong drive and intention to my prayers, I am already sounding like demanding and unsatisfied despite the fact that He made me survived for two weeks already. Then my church mate called me. “Let go and let God. You’ll see, He will just surprise you immeasurably.” I listened. I let go. I stopped worrying and just waited for God to surprise me.

He did. He surprised me with more than I’ve expected. One of my faith goal is to be financially debt free this year and to start saving for a house for my family. I am really impatient but then God is always faithful. It is still the first quarter of the year but the vision I had is coming to life. Yes, I am now financially debt-free and had opened a new bank account for my family’s dream house. Isn’t it amazing? It has been declared in our church that this year is a year for greater things. I believe so and I am seeing and experiencing it already. God never fails and I pray that the blessings I’ve received and continually receiving will also bless others.

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In That Season

A Couple with Two Bikes at Sunset in Dana Point. by Rich Cruse on 500px

Spring. It’s her favorite season of the year. It is when all things seem new, a season of beginnings. She started a lot of new things in her life; new journal, new blog, new room color, new hairstyle, new sets of good books to read, new pens and papers to fill and empty out. She loves the idea of how plants grow during the spring, that after winter, flowers bloom and and the sun rise is always at its best.

As she was strolling around the neighborhood, another new surprised her. A new neighbor – a happy family; a Dad on his early 50s, Mum on her late 40s, and two children. The girl is about fourteen and the boy is at least on his mid 20s. Yes, about her age.

She went on walking. He noticed her and walked towards her direction, introduced himself and asked for her name. It’s spring and she had a new good friend.

They share a plethora of common interests. They both love arts; she paints, he’s good with sketches. They both use nature as a primary subject. She writes stories and prose while he’s good with poems. It’s spring and there are still a lot to discover. They ride bikes together to see some of their favorite places, where there are trees and birds chirping, flowers and dandelions blown by the wind, where their skins are being kissed by the sun.

It is indeed spring, her favorite season. A season when most things grow, beautifully – even love.