When the Lord Says Otherwise

Have you ever been to a moment where you are so desperate with your prayers because you badly want to leave a situation you are not comfortable with? I have. Just recently, I moved to a new job and it’s totally different from where I used to–it’s more strict now, there’s a longer training period, foreign clients, night shift, and the list goes on–and I can’t even imagine myself doing this for a long time. I can’t sleep during daytime, I can’t attend some church activities, I can’t go home during the weekends, no night life, lesser time with friends and family–I mean, I can go on with the list of things that I wasn’t able to do now because of this job. So, I prayed really hard for signs, for the things that I must do–I even asked God to do something so that I could gracefully exit the company. And guess what? I came across an article saying, “Do not let the hum drum of everyday life dull your sparkle. Find magic in the things that you do and always work with all your heart. It’s true that you might be in job that you do not like but pays for all your bills; but you can change this situation and eventually pursue what you really want to do. For the meantime, make the best of every situation and then pounce when you finally get the chance to do something that makes your heart and soul sing.” And that was after my prayer time. But to my stubbornness, I wasn’t satisfied with that. I thought maybe it’s just a coincidence or I must have prayed more, in short, I want a more concrete answer. And so my prayer have gone like this, “Lord, please take me out of this situation. I don’t wanna work with this company anymore, I am not really enjoying what I’m doing. Please, make me the lowest in the stack rank so that they would doubt my skills and would be easier for me to file a resignation.” And then came the stack ranking announcement and guess what, I ranked third out of eleven who were assessed. Okay, I gave up. I won’t argue with the Lord anymore.

Some of the realizations I had:

  1. If God put you in an uncomfortable situation, you must endure. He is just doing that so that you will grow and think out of the box.
  2. God knows what you can do even if you think you can’t because He knows you so well.
  3. God is gracious. He will always pave the way so that you would somehow realize that He doesn’t put you there for nothing. (Ephesians 6:24)
  4. You will never, ever win against God’s will.
  5. Even if you execute your own plans, God will surely take over and do His plans according to His purpose. (Proverbs 19:21)

I know that His will is higher than mine, so if the Lord says otherwise, who am I to contradict? Perhaps, He has planned our future already (Jeremiah 29:11). 😉

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Timezones

Poetry by Clauie

We were so distant. Yet, I always found myself thinking about you and it always felt like, I know you. That even if we live in different timezones–for when you wake up each morning, the greetings from the sun jumpstart your day while my day is your night, where all you can see are stars and city lights–I still feel that connection. I know somewhere in the middle, we would meet. That there is some sort of crossroad or intersection along the way. It may not be like how motion pictures do it–with all the slow motion and dramas and background music–I’m sure, we are in the moment; our own moment. And I would just love walking towards you, listen to your heart as our eyes make a pact.

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Celebrate Your Uniqueness 

Let me tell you a story.

Almost a decade ago, there was a girl who can’t even look in the mirror because she despised herself so much–her eye color, her skin complexion, her hair, her nose, her body, everything about her. And there came a point that she wished she wasn’t born resulting to insecurities and low self-esteem. She tend to compare herself to everyone and had her own definition of beauty which she never counted herself in. She was bullied, took those words into her heart to pierce it and tuck them in at night, labeling herself with those–ugly, dark, lame, the list goes on.

Can you guess who that girl is? Yes, you are right (I am seeing that bubble in your head with the word “you” in it). It was me! I hated myself so much that time that I don’t even wanna be noticed. I even told a friend not to look at me because I am so ugly. Could you imagine how low my confidence was? I know. It’s too much.

Knowing your identity.

As I grew older, I learned how to appreciate myself more. It helped a lot when I decided to go to a place where few people or no one knows me. I built my confidence up. Then I came to know my Creator deeper and received this Word from Him, “you are fearfully and wonderfully made.” After receiving those words, all those years when I can’t look at myself in the mirror suddenly disappeared. It’s as if I was thrown with a bucket of cold water. It was an awakening.

Learning to embrace who you are.

This isn’t an exaggeration but when you truly learn to accept who you are, develop yourself and believe in your own beauty, there won’t be any discouraging words that would get through you. You’ll be able to show the world how your Creator made you and always be proud about it, no matter what.
So, celebrate your uniqueness. Love yourself and be happy to be just who you are because He loved you first. Do not conform to the world’s definition of beauty because always remember, you are beautiful in so many ways–more than what this world could define–so be your own definition of beauty. 😘