Battle Scars and Broken Hearts

I was out here broken. And the funny thing is, I can’t even write anything. I have abandoned this home for a few months, the readers visit more often than the writer for I can’t even look at a blank space created from this season. No, let me rephrase that—I can’t even stare at this abstract paper of emotions, of thoughts with mixture of anxieties and fear and anger and loneliness. I am sober and trying to keep things together but I’m losing it. The pain goes on and on and on and I seem to enjoy it each time, knowing that soon enough I’ll be numb.

That was what’s going on in my head while trying to pull thoughts through for this year-ender. I haven’t written much in the past few months—I did, somehow. Some poetry for a certain person and that’s it. Nevertheless, I had the most emotionally draining year thus far. I’ve been out to the wilderness and enjoyed the ups and downs (mostly downs) of being in this kind of season. I had some regrets but at the end of the day, it was my choice and I have no one to blame. I learned how to love and endure, love and be hurt, love and be left with a broken heart. I think throughout this season, I have loved enough that I took risks, I gamble with my fate sacrificing my faith which is not supposed to happen—but it did, unfortunately. And I think that was the biggest mistake of what I’ve gone through. But I believe that I learned a lot and no matter what, I can still go back. That’s how it works, you cannot go too far that God can’t redeem you. I know I don’t deserve this, but that’s grace—His grace.

This year has been a year full of chances, giving out chances and asking for one. For no reason that was the easiest thing for me to do, to forgive and give chances. But the catch is that no matter how forgiving you are, there would still be people who would take you for granted. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s me or because they simply enjoy hurting people because they are also hurting inside. One thing’s for sure—no matter how I’ve been hurt this season, I still have the heart to forgive and give chances. Who am I not to? I’ve been forgiven a hundred times before and even if I fail, He understands and still forgives. I was hurt and hurting, but can you imagine the pain being felt by God whenever people sin and take Jesus’ sacrifices on the cross for granted? I can barely imagine the pain and still, He’s always there, waiting for us to come home—and this is the biggest realization I had—that only He is faithful and only He would love us unconditionally. I knew that before, but I felt it tremendously this year. And I am truly grateful.

I’ll be wrapping up my year with a lighter and stronger heart. Sounds cliché but I do believe that things happen for a reason. For now, I am looking forward to a new season—a season of reconnection, celebration and courage. Cheers to new adventures!


Pen’s Heart x Pinto Art

Looking for a place to spend the weekend over to relax and somehow escape the hustle and bustle of the city? Pinto Art Museum is just a few minutes drive from the metro. I am a fan of art and I do appreciate artsy places a lot so I have decided to plan a mini get-away with my best friend and see this museum. I have been hearing stories about the place that enticed me and I decided to see it for myself. Pinto Art Museum is a beautiful contemporary art space located inside Grand Heights subdivision in Antipolo, Rizal. Pinto means “door” in English and I guess the name itself implies an opening for a relaxing experience and a place where you would want to go back.

Sharing with you some of the photos I took during my tour in the museum:

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Discovering Malabrigo in Lobo, Batangas

Weekends are always the best time for getaways especially if you are working on weekdays. It is the best time to stress out and unwind in a place where you most enjoy it. Fortunately, I happen to plan a getaway far from the usual places that you could think of when you hear of Batangas.

I grew up spending almost all my summer vacations when I was in grade school in my Grandparents’ place in Taysan, Batangas. I remember one or two of those summer vacations where my parents, together with some of my cousins and relatives there brought us to a nearby town – Lobo. There are quite a number of beaches that you could find around the area in different barangays. One of those is Malabrigo where one of my dad’s sisters used to live. And what I remember was the pebble beach that I don’t really enjoy because of the stones. Malabrigo is only few minutes away from the town proper of Lobo passing through fields and resorts in other barangays. Lobo is an hour travel from Batangas City.

Then came last weekend and I thought of going back there with my housemate, two of my siblings and my cousin – our tour guide. I told my cousin that I wanna go to the pebble beach in Malabrigo where I used to remember spending one of those summer vacations.

He brought us to Malabrigo Lighthouse, officially known as Faro de Punta de Malabrigo built in 1896 and served as beacons to vessels at the Verde island passage during the Spanish regime and it was declared as a National Historical Landmark last November 27, 2006. Quite a historical tour out there.


Malabrigo Lighthouse

Down the “parola”, there is a stairway going down to the beach – the pebble beach that I was talking about.  And I thought, I’ll be disappointed because what I’ve seen on the web are too perfect and I thought, the photos are photoshopped.

But then I’ve seen the same thing and I was in awe. It was so relaxing down the beach and hearing the waves are like music to my ears. The pebbles look great and since there is no resorts in that area, the beach shore is really clean and the water is clear, you can see at the bottom. My cousin told me that it is allowed to have camping there as long as you have the permission from the barangay officials. The place is really great and the views are Instagram savvy! I would definitely go back here.